On Monday 26^th November Lancaster’s Labour Club, Conservative Future and Liberal Democrats debated the motion ‘This House has no confidence in Her Majesty’s Government’ at an event hosted by the Debating Society.

A formal debate had been in the pipeline for a good few months without much progress, due to varying amounts of scepticism from three out of the four involved societies, however, after shamelessly stealing a motion the Oxford Union (we won’t tell them if you don’t’) and a good deal of planning, plotting, politicking, everyone was happy and the debate could go ahead– Conservative Future and the Lib Dems proposing, and Labour Club and the Debating Society as the opposition.

The proposition was kicked of by former Conservative Future Chairman Tom Currie, fresh from a short-lived career at Northern Rock, who attempted to show that the government had achieved nothing in its ten years in power.  Light relief was provided by LUDS’ President’s gavel breaking in two mid way through the speech, shattering any illusions of professionalism.

Mr Currie’s argument was opposed by renowned Labour Party zealot Dan Hogan who countered by outlining the government’s successes with the economy, education and tackling poverty.

Next up from the proposition was CF & LUDS member, Mark Hinson, putting in a particularly aggressive performance.

This was countered by Labour Club’s own Richard Bennett, who, despite some initial nerves, effectively argued for the government on the grounds of anti-discrimination laws and constitutional changes.

Proposition was then taken over by Lib Dem President Ryan Bate.  Although he put across an effective argument based on civil liberties, it did seem increasingly likely he was about to thump several members of the opposition.

The Debating Society then stepped up with their Vice-President Ben Webster; after admitting being completely non-party political he based his defence on the Human Rights Act.

Newcomer Paul Lynch summed thing up in more ways than one by admitting he ‘didn’t know’ what his point was while closing the case for the proposition.

Leo Wilson, also of LUDS, eloquently rounded things off for the opposition and for the debate overall.

When it came to the vote members of Labour Club and Conservative Future predictably voted on party political lines (the Lib Dems were unable to do this as both their members were on the panel) however, there were more than enough unbiased LUDS members to ensure a fair result was had, the final count being 16-26 to the opposition, meaning Lancaster University have confidence in Her Majesty’s Government after all.

All is dark, our ears ring with the din of war, and we wait patiently for orders to advance. The order is cried out; we charge into no-man’s land. Shots ring out, one of our troops takes a shot to the shoulder, so staggers back behind our lines; enraged we open fire taking down two Tories, their base is left undefended, we seize our chance. A carefully placed shot sees Conservative Future’s base explode into a barrage of light, Labour Club is victorious!

Sadly, it’s not real and no Tories are actually dead: it’s just Laser Quest in Morecombe, but it’s still very good fun.

Labour Club and Conservative Future have a long history of rivalry, our last encounter being a game of football in summer term. Sadly, on that occasion the Tories won, though we were stupid enough to lend them a player when they couldn’t quite field a full team, needless to say Labour Club were hungry for revenge.

Orders were issued for Labour Club to turn up in black so as to better blend in with the UV drenched terrain. One comrade arrives equipped with a black balaclava, whilst impressed with his dedication it’s difficult also to not be ever-so-slightly scared. Another member offers to lend us some smoke grenades, which is a very tempting proposition, though on reflection a little extreme.

All Labour Club’s preparations seemed in vain when, after getting a bit lost in Morecombe, they arrive to find the Conservatives with enough people to fill two teams. Labour’s proletarian determination, however, would not be dented, they would fight even if they were outnumbered, if anything they were excited by the extra level of challenge being the underdog presented.

The battle itself is brutal with Conservative Future fighting Labour Club for every inch of ground. Both teams fight bravely and with considerable skill, sniping from a distance and also engaging the enemy up close in almost hand-to-hand combat.

Eventually, with everyone tired and weary of the horrors of war, the battle drew to a close…

The final scores are as follows: Round One: Red (Lab) 82,477, Green (Con) 48,923, Yellow (Con) 49,564. Round Two: Red (Lab) 75,256, Green (Con) 61,774, Yellow (Con) 67,406.

Labour Club, and any other rational person, believes the fact that Labour Club had the highest scoring team in both rounds means that it’s a decisive victory for the Reds. Conservative Future, however, believe that their score should be the total of their two teams’ scores, despite the fact this means that not only do they outnumber Labour Club two to one, but they also get points for shooting each other!

Now, in answer to this supposed ‘dilemma’ I propose the following solution. If we look at the scores on purely individualistic lines (something the Tories surely must be in favour of) over the two games the average score for a Labour Club member was 17,525 whereas for a Conservative Future member it was 14,229. Clearly then, whichever way you look at it Laser Quest 2007 has got to be a victory for the Red Army!

At last week’s meeting Labour Club unanimously resolved to mount a campaign in solidarity with the University’s college bars.

Labour Club believes that the bars are an essential focal point for social activity within the colleges and that the increasing pressure being put upon the bars by University management is having a detrimental effect.

Therefore, Labour Club will use all means at its disposal to petition both the University and LUSU to safeguard the future of our bars.

At a meeting last week Labour Club nominated three candidates to go forward in the race to fight the next General Election for Lancaster and Fleetwood.  From a choice of 28, the candidates chosen were:

- David Menon

- Lynne Stafford

- Jim Blakely

After months of careful preparation Into Week is upon us and our recruitment campaign has begun.  Labour Club is proud to have had the first poster up on campus on Friday night, hopefully a good omen. 

New members will find us at the Freshers  Fair on Friday, out and about on campus and at the various events we’ve got planned over the next few weeks, check the Events page for full details.

A group of Labour Club students past and present ventured to the capital last weekend to attend the Student Broad Left and National Black Students Alliance Summer Forum at University College London. The weekend consisted of two days of debate and discussion on topics such as Cuba and Venezuela, Multiculturalism and the way forward for the student movement. Those who attended found the weekend informative and helpful to their lives within student politics…

A crack team of Lancaster party activists headed up to Tony Blair’s former constituency of Sedgefield in County Durham earlier this week to help out with the campaign.  The small team undertook canvasing and leafleting of the town of Newton Aycliffe which contributed to Labour’s ‘local man’ Phil Wilson securing the seat in the by-election on Thursday.  The Liberl Democrats took second place with the Conservatives coming a predictable third whilst the BNP, rather worryingly, came fourth with roundabout ten percent of the vote.

Secretary of State for International Development Hilary Benn MP talked to members of the Club over the internet on Friday 1st June as part of his campaign for the Party’s deputy leadership. Benn answered questions on subjects such as inequality, reengaging with the Party’s core voters and taxation. The consensus amongst the Club was that Benn was a reasonable contender who may pick up a vote or two. The event also found its way into Saturday’s Lancashire Evening Post and might also find its way into SCAN…

On Wednesday 16th May Lancaster University Labour Club voted to back Jon Cruddas for Deputy Leader of The Labour Party by 5 votes for to 4 votes against, with one abstention.

Okay, so we have a new project involving tomato plants, kindly donated by Martin from Furness Bar (legend!)… called Tony and Trotsky! At the moment Tony, currently being cared for by our Glastonbury Officer Mr Watts, is looking a bit limp but the Blairites of the Club hope that with some loving care he can revive himself and prove that he is indeed the fruitful tomato plant of the left. Trotsky on the other hand is, at the moment, quite healthy looking and enjoying plentiful amounts of water and sunlight in my office. Let the battle commence! 

Pictures of both plants progress to follow.